V V -- a most dreaded disease

I think we have all had V V at one time or another. It happens late at night when we are tired. It happens when we are bored. It happens when we are longing for adult conversation. Or sometimes it happens when our excitement just can't be contained.

It's the dreaded Verbal Vomit.

You can spot it immediately. It starts innocently enough. Someone says "How are you?" Then the person with the disease replies something like this.

"How am I? I am terrific. I mean, I just haven't ever felt better in my life. You know, I have lost 15 pounds and 22 inches and I have had to go buy all new clothes! I feel like I'm 20 years old and so does my husband. Did you know we were the last ones to leave the Christmas dance? We could have danced all night but they finally asked us to leave! And my brain is so clear!! I never forget anyone's name anymore. I never forget where I put my keys. It is just great. And you should see my little Johnny. He used to sit in a fog at school and now he is making straight A's and his teacher says he can focus with the best of him. And my sister had a baby last week and she had been drinking a shake a day her whole pregnancy and the doctor just couldn't believe the placenta!! My Mom is climbing ladders and painting her own walls and my Dad, who used to be blue all the time, is now up and at 'em and feeling great. My Aunt Nancy used to have discomfort all over her body and now she runs marathons and Uncle Bob isn't having that awful prostate problem he used to have. You know, my life just couldn't be any better!!"

At this point the first person is looking for the closest exit. TMI. Too much information. While all of that is probably true, who really cares?

How about this as a remedy for V V.

"How are you?"

"I'm great. I don't think I've ever had this much energy in my whole life."

Or, "I'm great. I'm shopping for new clothes because all of my old ones are just too big now."

Or, "I'm great. I'm celebrating!"

If they ask why? you can give them the cleansedforlife.com website or a CD or email them a Nutritional Cleanse Orientation sheet. Let the experts do the talking. You do a brief follow-up. Have an enrollment form handy if needed and be prepared to coach them if they so desire. Or call them back with your cleansing coach and let them do the talking.

Maybe we can start a V V anonymous! I'm sure our friends and neighbors would appreciate it.